CAN WE STAY FRIENDS?

I've experienced and seen the power of reconciliation. Although not so much anymore...

Reconciliation requires humility, forgiveness,  and the right attitude (motive, heart, etc, so a relationship or friendship can be on the mend.

So it is sad when you can see people, especially those who claim to be Christian can't get along and get it together after something negative happens between them.

It has to suck losing people you've grown close to, leave out of my life due to bitterness, lack of understanding, and/or not willing to forgive. 

*I will say that if that person says they are done and through with you...then let them go. Don't chase after people.*

If forgiveness is requested and that person is willing to work on making things right and repent, then do as God would do and forgive them. What happened or what was done may not be forgotten, but being unified is what we all should be striving for!

I would only cut off a person if he or she just wasn't willing to work it out. There has to be a change in behavior and true willingness to do what is right/make things right again. Same goes for me if I hurt or offend a friend and didn't try to change. I would expect them not to want to be my friend anymore. 

Although being the person I am, I'm loyal and willing do whatever it took to keep my friends. Unless God show me otherwise,  but I let Him remove people from my life. He knows who's meant for a lifetime or season. He knows each person's purpose in my life, so if their purpose is to teach me in whatever way (positive or negative experience) so in the end I learn and grow, then so be it.

All I'm trying to say that if a relationship/friendship can be worked on and fixed, do it. Don't throw in the towel just because you're mad. Don't give up on it too soon. Ask for discernment and  meeting how God wants you to go about it.

Reconciliation is good. Don't let satan tear things apart. Don't allow anger, bitterness, or stubbornness hinder you're attempt to make things right again. If you love that person, your friend, your spouse, or whoever...then pray and move forward.

My Best and Better Me

I'm in this place where I want to be better than I am now in a few areas of my life.

I have been a self taught person most of my life. I learned how to play my instruments on my own, draw, design, sew, roller blade, etc before receiving further help to improve at those things.

Now there are some things I can't just start myself. I don't stop trying, but  seeking the help I need is sometimes difficult. Although I will do what is necessary to become better at the things I love to do.

Really I wish that I could find more people willing to teach and share what they know that have the same or similar skills as myself. In particular in my field of deisgn. Some designers are so secretive or competitive as if no one can know what they know. They don't want to help another reach their potential. I noticed that a lot in the artist/design community.

Yes some people want to copy and steal ideas, but I'm truly looking to learn and improve. I want and need to be a better designer. I'll admit what I'm good at, but also my weak areas. I'm pretty good with designing flyers, but my logo skills could use some more improvement. The more I do design, the better I get at them, but I feel like I still can reach another level with logo creation.

I thank God for my job and my boss that helps me learn more and improve, but I need more outside training. School helps as well, but not as practically in some ways. 

Other than that I can't afford at this time to take additional classes/courses. Plus it would be cool to do a one on one mentor like session with an experienced graphic designer, so I can have someone to go to when I need more guidance. I'm a very visual and hands on learner.

So I won't stop what I love to do. I will continue to look for different resources to help me out. Being an artist/graphic designer is what I am. Nothing else to really fall back on. I love it. I always try and give it my best.

Anyone who receives or has received work from me, gets/got 100% of my hard work and passion. When I visualize what I need to design, I put all that I can into with what I can have (program/resources). While I don't consider myself the very best, I think whoever chooses me gets great work from me. I work well with my clients and make sure they get what they've pictured. 

I really appreciate my clients and grateful that they trust me as their go to designer. Plus they refer me, which is aslo greatly appreciated. 

I receive great support from many people and that definitely keeps my confidence up.

Well I guess I'm done. I could go on, but just know that I'm all about bettering myself. If I want to move forward and become more successful then I have to take a step back and evaluate where I need to improve. I don't like being in the same place too long. I have to learn and know more so I can apply it to my work and hobbies.

Making Assumptions

A friend gave me the suggestion to talk about making assumptions. 

Webster dictionary defines assumed as: "to think that something is true or probably true without knowing that it is true"


I will be upfront and honest to say that I have made assumptions. I've learned the hard way to be more careful about what I thought I believe to be true without finding out if it was or not.

Although, it is wrong to assume? What happens if I'm right...or wrong with my assumptions?

Personally I think assumptions are usually based on how someone is FEELING about something or someone without actually thinking it through, which can sometimes lead to issues. This may not be the case all the time, but for some it is.


I used to make assumptions based of what I may have heard or thought without prior knowledge about a person or situation. Can you assume someone is a certain way by how they look/act? Sometimes and you might be right about him or her. Although other times it can be taken too far because without gaining more information or facts, your leading yourself to believe something to be truth without validation.

Now I do my best to not assume something and run with it. I believe it is best to ask questions about what you're assuming, so you don't cause an misunderstanding. Everything seen on the outside doesn't always reveal what is going on inside. Let me reiterate that sometimes you can assume based off what you may see or hear, but I do warn that you must be careful and be ready to back up your assumption of things. If you believe what your assuming to be true, you better have proof.

Usually when making an assumptions, it is done after a period of getting to know more about something or someone and /or have seen a pattern related to either that leads you to assume what you think.

If you're right in what you assume, especially about a person, I say it is important to still deal with it appropriately.  Let's said you assume a someone to be a thief, liar, mean, etc and that person is really that way. Well what can you do (if you should be dealing with it) to help that person not be that way? Maybe address it what that person? Ask how you can help that person (if  he or she wants help)? There are probably a number of ways to go about it,  but make sure to not make things complicated. If you're right, don't brag about it. If it is true, well alright, you know what you believe was true and can now proceed with what need to be done or dealt with.


Now let's say what you assumed was wrong! Oh no! Well don't worry to much, unless you started to cause trouble or any issues with your assumption. Then you need to fix it right away. First I would ask for forgiveness if you were wrong, especially if others found out. *You already know that when you assume, you end up telling someone else what you think, which most likely lead to gossip or some kind of misunderstanding* If you assumed something wrong about a person, even if he or she didn't/doesn't know, if it is necessary, admit that you were under the wrong impression. You may have believe what someone else has told you or you simply just didn't care to find out more yourself. Sometimes people don't know they come across a certain way, then we can sometimes assume they are that way and addressing it can help make things less awkward or complicated. We've all assume something (usually bad) about someone and sometimes we assume wrong. Deal with it and move on.

So making assumptions can be a fight starter, cause issues, and get you into trouble sometimes. Assumptions could keep you out of those things as well. Just use wisdom. We're human though, so it is easy to think something is truth based off of little to no prior give info or knowledge. Assumptions can lead you all over the place, so know about what you're assuming. Be careful. You can assume someone is a thief if they steal in front of you. You can't assume someone is Christian just because they go to church. You could assume you might drown if you can't swim. You can't assume that someone is your friend if he or she is disrespecting you.

Make sure first!
Get me? I hope so.

What Needs to be Done...When Dealing with Sin!

*This is not about anyone in particular as I have been in several different conversations with different people in and out-side of my circle who are talking about dealing with those in sin. When someone you know isn't doing right, how do you deal with it, especially if they claim to be a Christian?
This is a "touchy" topic, but I don't want to be afraid to talk about my view about it.
This is what I believe, you may or may not agree.*

It is not easy to correct someone. For some it might be, but the majority have a hard time confronting someone doing wrong/who is sinning. Sometimes there's a fear of that person being angry or less accepting of you. Things could get tensed and/or awkward, the relationship/friendship could be over.
Sometimes one doesn't care that much about what someone else is doing. If it is not affecting his/her self directly, why worry about it.

Whatever the case may be, it is important to do what is right. What is God telling you to do in that particular situation? How do you approach someone who is in sin? Are you trying to help them and encourage repentance?

Depending on what it is, I think one has to set aside their feelings and deal with it. No one should be comfortable standing by while someone else is sinning. There's needs to be accountability. There needs to be genuine concern and care for someone who finds or positions his/her self in a situation that is causing them to be in sin.

This has been a common topic lately. We find our (Christian) friends in situations that pulls them away from the Lord. They are in sin and have isolate themselves. They don't want anyone to talk to them.They don't want correction. They only want God to JUDGE them. They don't want anyone to be involved with their life at this time. Etc. etc....

What are we to do about it?
Well we are called to deal with them in a loving and truthful, but most effective way possible. Some people you have to be gentle with, while others do need to be dealt with boldly and more seriously. All is done with care and keeping in mind that God wants us watch over one another. He wants us to live right and obey His word.

We have to do what needs to be done. Sometimes you may get burned while pulling someone else out of the fire. It won't always be easy trying to help someone you see sinning and you want them to get back on track. You want to encourage that him/her have the right testimony. There does come a point when you leave alone and leave the rest up to God, but until then don't give an excuse. If you're not doing what God is asking you to do, then you're not doing right either.

I used to struggle in this area a lot. It was and sometimes still is hard going up to someone I care about and letting know what they are doing is not pleasing to God and it is affecting their walk with Him. They are in sin and need to turn away. I didn't want that person to be mad at me or not trust me anymore. Then I had to stop worrying about their response and do what is right, even if that means things get shaky. I wanted to do what God commanded, especially if I'm the one that is meant to deal with that person.

I probably could go more into depth, but the point is for Christians to do what we're called to do: confront sin, deal with it, and be accountable. Don't just talk...do. If your prayer for someone leads you to actually talk to him/her, then do it. After that, see what happens. Pray for their repentance. Pray for their walk with the Lord. Pray that they can turn away and how you may be able to help with it. Pray God does a work with the person. DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE! 


Jude verses 22+23                                                                                                                   "And have mercy on those who doubt;  save others by snatching them out of the fire;" 

Galatians 6:1 
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted."

2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

Some Advice...

I don't think I'm an expert. I don't know everything and I may not always give the best advice. Although something I said to a friend (a piece of advice) made my happy to think about how far I've come and what I've learned from my experiences. So this piece of advice I want to share with my readers. I believe it will help some out or at least I pray it does.

Here it goes:

"You don't need what others have or get to experience in their lives to make you happy or define your life. You have your own life (that God has planned out). You'll be doing big things someday. You don't need a man. You don't need a trip. You don't need money or anything else....all you need is God. He is the best that you can get out of life. He'll make you happy, content, feel loved, and prosperous.

It's ok to want, to dream, to aspire, to reach for...but don't let it take your focus off God. Don't worry about what others are doing with their lives and compare theirs to yours. Keep moving forward and being content with your life until God shows you what to do and where to go next."

My Bible Lesson-The 5 Ps of Life: Place, Purpose, Provision, Perspective, and Presence

Place: Where God wants you to be? Examples in the Bible: Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Esther, David, etc

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Proverbs 16:9
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

Where ever you are in life right now (your location, your job, your title, etc), that is God wants you to be. Grow where He has you at this time until He changes things!
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Purpose: What God wants you to do; His will for your life-specific tasks or responsibility?
Examples: The Judges, Mary, etc

Psalm 57:2
“I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.”

Proverbs 16:4
"The Lord has made everything for its purpose"

Ephesians 1:11
"In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of His will"

God wants you to do His will with the gifts/tasks/responsibilities He has given you to fulfill your purpose! Doesn't matter what you are...student, worker, a mom, a wife, a leader, etc...figure out what God is calling you to do!
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Provision: God fulfills your needs; even ones you didn’t know that needed to be met!
Examples: Moses, Daniel, The Apostles, etc

Philippians 4:19
"My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

2 Peter 1:3
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence

Matthew 6:11
“Give us this day our daily bread,”

Before time, now, and later God has you covered!
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Perspective: The vision you are to have about God and your life; how you view the Word and the world around you
Examples: Adam/Eve, Jesus, etc

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
“as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Isaiah 55:8
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.”

Make sure your perspective is the right one! Whatever happens it helps to think that God is doing things for your good!
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Presence (of God): You’ll be able to feel presence of God the closer you are to Him.

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God is always there! He isn't going to abandon His own!
If you don't feel God's presence or don't feel as close to Him, consider what is going on with your relationship with Him? Are you in sin? Maybe you're not reading your Bible or being in prayer enough? Figure it out, so you can be closer to Him!

Where I'm at right now?

We have a lot of catching up to do!
Well I won't bore anyone reading this post with a lot of details on last couple months. I'll just say I made it through another semester in college, my freelance biz grew with a few more clientele, and my husband and I did some traveling. I've been pretty busy, but it's all good, so praise God for it all.

Now what's on my mind? Well been thinking about the future? What's next for me? Where do I see myself in the next 5 years?

I think what really matters is what does God have in store me and am I willing to submit to His plan for my future/life? I have dreams, goals, plans, and a reality I see for myself, but what if God has something else in mind?

Well I know God has the best in mind for me and knows my desires! If something comes along that I don't like or don't feel good about, I'm sure it will be for my good to teach me something, help me grow in a certain area, prepare me from something, etc. Life may or may nor go my way. I've learned that the easy and hard way.

So now I don't worry so much about my future because it is in God's hands. He has never lead me wrong. He has saw me through so much and blessed me in many ways. Whatever is ahead, I feel ready. I know it won't always be easy, but I'll be able to endure and in the end I'll be closer to God.

There's no point in complaining or being discontent. I know the things I need to change. I have an idea of what is realistic for me to happen in the future and I strive to reach my goals and make my dreams a reality.

I will do my best to pray first, to try and understand what is God's will for me, and not be discouraged when things don't go as expected. I won't give up at what I know God has clearly given me the vision and abilities to do.

So that's where I am for now! Stay tuned to see what's next for me! I'm sure you'll be just as amazed as I will be since I don't really know what the future holds.

Despite what I can't see...

Something I heard said tonight at church that really convicted me:

We can't see God. So sometimes we promise to do things for Him and when we don't follow through, then it's not a big deal to us. Although if we promise to do something for a friend, coworker, or anyone else, we feel bad about it and care about how they feel because we can see their physical reactions to our failures.

Just because we can't see God's reaction, doesn't mean He isn't disappointed in us. He's not happy when we fail to do what we said we would do. It is important to be just as conscious to God's feelings the same as anyone else in front of us, even more!

I want God to be please and see that I can follow through with the things He has called me to do! I do
I wouldn't want to see God's face of anger or disappointment in me and even though I haven't, doesn't mean it should not matter as much!

WOW....it's been too long...

I need to be more consistent with this blog. I do have a lot to share, but I've been very busy with school.

So, let me get some things together and done and I'll be back real soon with words of encouragement, testimonies, updates, etc.

Up Late...Thinking A Lot

I'm a night owl. I stay up late, listening to music while working and/or designing. 

Here's what I'm thinking about:

Self examination/reflection...thinking about my life, what I've done, what I'm doing now, what will I be doing later on; what others see when they see me...their perception of my personality, my abilities/gifts/talents, etc. Am I using my time wisely? What's the point of...? What am I thinking so much? 

I wonder about a lot of things (whether it all matters or not), but overall is what I'm doing is what God wants me to do? Is He pleased or disappointed?

Sometimes I get discourage or really not sure about what I'm doing, although God gave me these gifts/talents for a reason. If I used what He gave me to His glory, I have nothing to worry about. I'm called to have the right attitude, intentions, and outlook. All I do is because of Him.

So I pray this path I'm on, the things I'm doing now, my goals and desires are lining up with God's will for me. It will mean nothing if it is not for God!

It has to stop...or at least lessen!

Only God knows the hearts, the intentions, and motives of those who do wrong. I don't always understand how and why people are sometimes can be so mean, deceiving, selfish, inconsiderate, arrogant, and/or have this sense of self-entitlement. They also know better than someone else and want others to do so much for them, but won't do the same in return. It is so important to examine yourself each and every day, so you don't fool yourself into thinking that you're always good with yourself and everyone else. We all can be found at fault of not being completely honest, selfish, and thinking we deserve more. God requires us to put Him and others before ourselves.
The sad part is that this behavior is seen among Christians. How is the world suppose to differentiate the spiritual from the worldly if it all looks the same?
We need to go back to basics and get ourselves together. Where is the love? Where is the accountability? Where is the sense of unity and peace among ourselves?
God expects more of us...Christian or not, but especially those calling themselves Christians.
It has to stop...or at least lessen.
This mess can't continue! Let's get some order and get back to who God call us to be!

Spring Break

So this spring break I'm working on getting back on track with things I have put down, neglected, or just need to finally get started.

First I'm going back to the gym. I haven't been in awhile, but I never give up at trying to be more consistent in going to it. If I stop for awhile, I just make sure to go back again.

Then I'm working on getting school work that isn't due until the end of semester done ahead of time. I want to try to get as much done as I can as soon as I can.

Also I'm working on promoting and getting work done for my business and my friend's businesses. I have quite a few flyers to make, so I'm going to use this break to complete them.

Last, but not least I plan on take one day at a time and chill out!  I can easily get overwhelmed, so I want to take time for myself and enjoy my break from school.

Check yourself and your emotions!

You are in control of your emotions. You choose how to feel in whatever situation you're placed in. If something makes you anger, you have allowed it to make you feel that way. If something else makes you happy, you chose to feel happy about it. If you trust God more and allow Him to work in you, your emotions won't have control over you.

I'm Asking Myself...

Thinking about God's calling for me. What am I aming to do with my life? What should I be doing with what God has given me? What is my purpose? How do I fulfill that purpose? Am I partnered with other believers as I should be? What is my perspective in terms of God working in my life, doing things His way?

I do have some answers, some surety. God has revealed some things to me, but I think it is good to examine and just make sure that I'm doing what God is commanding me to do. I'm looking at how I am spiritual and praying that the areas I fall short or am weak in, I be one better and stronger.

Reality check! It is needed from time to time!

Women Business Owners

This is a post from Facebook I've made:

"I think it is incredible to see so many women business owners/entrepreneurs in Milwaukee, growing and doing well. It inspires me to continue to work hard and see what God has in store for me.

I thank God for allowing me to even do work for some of them! I really appreciate the opportunity to use my skills to help them out in some way!
Keep up the hard work and I hope your business/service/venture continues to be successful!

Just click on the names of these following businesses who've use my services from Charm's Artistic Expressions: Amelia's Illuminating Shots and Creations, Creations by Ryane, DTK Occasions, DIAMONDS&DOLLS VDAY BASH (event), Author Kaleda Carthran, Mrs. Buford's Custom Candy.

These are others that I see as successful, growing businesses by women on Facebook: Cuppie Cakes Creations, Mahogany Expressions, Char'let Amour Wedding & Event Planning & Candy Creations. Of course there are many others!!!"

*If you can't click and get directed to these businesses Facebook pages, just do a search for them!

Another reflection of My Life

Just thinking about the day I thought my life was going to end and how God protected me. I was challenged in so many ways and determined to live each day I see to the fullest, doing God's will for my life.

Today I'm working in my field of study, doing well in school, serving in several ministries, enjoying time with family and friends, and married to a loving and very supportive husband. Life as we all know is not always easy, but still I praise God for my life, for the ups and downs, the good and bad.
I feel like when I get discourage, discontent, and/or ungrateful about it, I'm taking for granted the "second chance" God have me to do live a life that is pleasing to Him. I lack nothing that I need and I'm surrounded by love, support, and believers who are there to lift me, but also hold me accountable. I'm blessed so I take joy in that fact and will keep working on maintaining that joy.

So I am working on being more productive, ambitious, and not allowing satan to get in my way as I press on towards what God has for me.
My prayer for myself is to be more faithful and trusting in the Lord. I'm asking for the confidence I need to come from God. I asked to be forgiven for doubting and limiting what God do for and through me. I love the Lord, what He has given me, looking forward to what He will do in the future.
TBC....

Don't Force Things to Happen

We are all looking to make things happen...and usually it's RIGHT NOW! Yes, we should be working hard to make things happen, but everything happens in God's timing. He's always on time and knows what is best when its best to come to light. So wait on the Lord and He'll bring forth things in perfect timing! 

*designed by myself ;)

Control Your Anger

The Bible speaks a lot about dealing with anger:

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;" James 1:19

Ephesians 4:26
'Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,"

Proverbs 14:29

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

Here's a little story to go along with this concept:
Nails In The Fence
Author Unknown

"There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said, “I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you.”

“Of course I can,” said the father."

Practice self control and don't let your emotion get the best of you. Don't be so quick to lash out or hurt someone because you're angry. Be angry at sin and discern how God would want you to deal with it.

Happy New Year...Now What?

My goals for 2014:
-Read my Bible more (be more faithful to the Lord in general)
-Put in more time, practice and research into my work (Graphic Design)
-do more freelance work (really get my business off the ground)
-Exercise more (stay committed)
-Save up more money (spend more wisely)
-Whatever else God reveals for me to do


Some of those goals I know it won't be easy, I don't know how long it will take, and I can't let doubt or my insecurities get in the way of what I'm aiming for ahead.
They say to "speak in existence" and see yourself where you want to be and with that I'll keep pushing myself, working harder, and keep God's will for my life first.

So thankful for the support and encouragement I get from my friends and family, as they truly help me so much as an artist. If any underestimate or have doubt in my skills and abilities, I'll take it and prove them wrong. God has a plan for my life that I know has me being successful in my career field and reaching my goals.

2014...I'm ready, let's go!!!