You're Not Missing Out...

I used to think I was missing out when people around me were doing things I didn't or wasn't allowed to do. I used to feel left out, thinking something was "wrong" with me if I wasn't involved with a certain activity or didn't have the same experiences as my friends (or peers). 

There were a lot of things I didn't get to do or have, but that's alright. I look back now and feel humble and content with the way life has gone for me. Yea not everything was "good" and there were times that I care not to reminiscence about, although I can still thank God that it was His plan, His  way, His will for me. I didn't always go to God for big decisions or ask for direction, which lead me to learn things the hard way or go through that time in my life with much more difficulty. When I just let God have His way and take control, I started to feel better about who I was and where I was in life.

I wasn't missing out. Whatever was going on that I thought I should be apart of, God kept me away for a reason. It didn't all have to be wrong, but God knew better than I did and so it wasn't meant for me.

I didn't date as a teen, but most of friends did. I thought things like "No guy wants to date me", "I'm not pretty enough", "I should lower my standards and just go for it", etc... I wasn't out going girl, so most guys that I talked to and liked just kept me in the friend zone. I was the "good/church girl", but since I didn't party and wasn't willing to go to certain places or do certain things, my prospects were low. By the time I got to college, I had already "given up" and thought I'll date when I'm older and out of college, working in my career field. I prayed and ask God to give me patience. I truly wanted to wait on Him and stop worrying so much about when I'll meet "the one". Little did I know, a young man had been paying attention to me for quite some time and finally started talking to me. Eventually we got closer, started dating, and then got happily married. I really think that if I didn't allow God to work with me and give me patience, I'd be with someone I wasn't happy with or worse.

That's just an example of what I felt I missed out on (dating at that age at that time), when it was not the right time for me. Now that situation may seem a little silly, but there have been other circumstances when I felt like "I'm missing out". Mostly that feeling was related to the timing of things in my life i.e. graduating college (sooner than later), working in my career field, owning a home, making certain accomplishments, etc. Honestly it could be almost anything, but after some reflection and prayer, that feeling goes away.

So if you feel like you're "missing out"...you're probably not. What is God's plan for your life? What are you truly meant to do or be apart of? If all your friends are dating, doesn't mean you have to be. A friend has bought a house, doesn't mean you have to buy one too. You want to live on your own (or with your buddies), well maybe that won't happen. Owning a business, getting married, having children, traveling the world, etc...whatever it is...
You won't always do and/or get to be apart of what seems great or popular like those around you. You're not missing out.

Trust God. He knows what is best for you. You don't need to have the same life as someone else to have a good, exciting life. Whatever happens to and for you is how your life will go because God meant it that way. Don't rush. Don't do anything without keeping God first. Don't allow what you feel cause you miss out on what God may have for you...or in short don't miss out on your blessings because you're after things that don't really matter or meant for you at this time.

Ecclesiastes 8:6 
"For there is a time and a way for everything"

Galatians 6:9

^"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Psalm 37:3-4
"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
 

Happy New Year and Happiness Ahead

Welcome to 2015!

First I'm going to praise God for blessing me to see this year. I'm looking forward to just continuing on with the things I have already made commitments to do and grow/mature as a young Christian woman. There are new things I want to do, but I don't want to start now just because it's New Year. I rather what until I know it's the right time so I don't quit or begin what I can't finish because I should have waited anyway.

So I'm very active on Facebook and I see plenty of people who talk about their new commitments and goals for the year. Honestly sometimes I wonder what is motivating people to choose what they want to do this year. I think it is really easy to set a goal and say what you want to do, but why? Everyone wants to "get fit", but why? Some people want to start a business, but why? Why this year and not before?

I ask myself "why", so this isn't just pointing the finger. I don't like doing things without purpose. I like to figure out if what I want to do will please God, benefits others, and mean something to me.
I don't expect everyone do think that same way, but I do hope that resolutions, commitments, and goals made are done with thoughtfulness and good reason.

Honestly the main thing I look forward to this year is more happiness. There's so much negativity and disorder going on, I just want to see people find happiness in some way. I know that's not easy when so much is going on personally, socially, and in the world. It's like "how can I/you be happy, when there's violence, chaos, death, persecution, etc happening?" and I understand that doesn't make anyone feel "happy". Although I like to still find that "silver lining" in all that goes on, because I like to be good and happy when it's the right time to be so.

 I find happiness in the Lord, because He is the one in control, can change things, and gives the real feeling of happiness....more like joy I should say. So this year, whatever comes my way, I will look to the Lord for peace, contentment, and happiness. I don't want to stay stuck in the negative.


Well that's all I have for now. I'll be back sooner than later with more to share.

CAN WE STAY FRIENDS?

I've experienced and seen the power of reconciliation. Although not so much anymore...

Reconciliation requires humility, forgiveness,  and the right attitude (motive, heart, etc, so a relationship or friendship can be on the mend.

So it is sad when you can see people, especially those who claim to be Christian can't get along and get it together after something negative happens between them.

It has to suck losing people you've grown close to, leave out of my life due to bitterness, lack of understanding, and/or not willing to forgive. 

*I will say that if that person says they are done and through with you...then let them go. Don't chase after people.*

If forgiveness is requested and that person is willing to work on making things right and repent, then do as God would do and forgive them. What happened or what was done may not be forgotten, but being unified is what we all should be striving for!

I would only cut off a person if he or she just wasn't willing to work it out. There has to be a change in behavior and true willingness to do what is right/make things right again. Same goes for me if I hurt or offend a friend and didn't try to change. I would expect them not to want to be my friend anymore. 

Although being the person I am, I'm loyal and willing do whatever it took to keep my friends. Unless God show me otherwise,  but I let Him remove people from my life. He knows who's meant for a lifetime or season. He knows each person's purpose in my life, so if their purpose is to teach me in whatever way (positive or negative experience) so in the end I learn and grow, then so be it.

All I'm trying to say that if a relationship/friendship can be worked on and fixed, do it. Don't throw in the towel just because you're mad. Don't give up on it too soon. Ask for discernment and  meeting how God wants you to go about it.

Reconciliation is good. Don't let satan tear things apart. Don't allow anger, bitterness, or stubbornness hinder you're attempt to make things right again. If you love that person, your friend, your spouse, or whoever...then pray and move forward.

My Best and Better Me

I'm in this place where I want to be better than I am now in a few areas of my life.

I have been a self taught person most of my life. I learned how to play my instruments on my own, draw, design, sew, roller blade, etc before receiving further help to improve at those things.

Now there are some things I can't just start myself. I don't stop trying, but  seeking the help I need is sometimes difficult. Although I will do what is necessary to become better at the things I love to do.

Really I wish that I could find more people willing to teach and share what they know that have the same or similar skills as myself. In particular in my field of deisgn. Some designers are so secretive or competitive as if no one can know what they know. They don't want to help another reach their potential. I noticed that a lot in the artist/design community.

Yes some people want to copy and steal ideas, but I'm truly looking to learn and improve. I want and need to be a better designer. I'll admit what I'm good at, but also my weak areas. I'm pretty good with designing flyers, but my logo skills could use some more improvement. The more I do design, the better I get at them, but I feel like I still can reach another level with logo creation.

I thank God for my job and my boss that helps me learn more and improve, but I need more outside training. School helps as well, but not as practically in some ways. 

Other than that I can't afford at this time to take additional classes/courses. Plus it would be cool to do a one on one mentor like session with an experienced graphic designer, so I can have someone to go to when I need more guidance. I'm a very visual and hands on learner.

So I won't stop what I love to do. I will continue to look for different resources to help me out. Being an artist/graphic designer is what I am. Nothing else to really fall back on. I love it. I always try and give it my best.

Anyone who receives or has received work from me, gets/got 100% of my hard work and passion. When I visualize what I need to design, I put all that I can into with what I can have (program/resources). While I don't consider myself the very best, I think whoever chooses me gets great work from me. I work well with my clients and make sure they get what they've pictured. 

I really appreciate my clients and grateful that they trust me as their go to designer. Plus they refer me, which is aslo greatly appreciated. 

I receive great support from many people and that definitely keeps my confidence up.

Well I guess I'm done. I could go on, but just know that I'm all about bettering myself. If I want to move forward and become more successful then I have to take a step back and evaluate where I need to improve. I don't like being in the same place too long. I have to learn and know more so I can apply it to my work and hobbies.

Making Assumptions

A friend gave me the suggestion to talk about making assumptions. 

Webster dictionary defines assumed as: "to think that something is true or probably true without knowing that it is true"


I will be upfront and honest to say that I have made assumptions. I've learned the hard way to be more careful about what I thought I believe to be true without finding out if it was or not.

Although, it is wrong to assume? What happens if I'm right...or wrong with my assumptions?

Personally I think assumptions are usually based on how someone is FEELING about something or someone without actually thinking it through, which can sometimes lead to issues. This may not be the case all the time, but for some it is.


I used to make assumptions based of what I may have heard or thought without prior knowledge about a person or situation. Can you assume someone is a certain way by how they look/act? Sometimes and you might be right about him or her. Although other times it can be taken too far because without gaining more information or facts, your leading yourself to believe something to be truth without validation.

Now I do my best to not assume something and run with it. I believe it is best to ask questions about what you're assuming, so you don't cause an misunderstanding. Everything seen on the outside doesn't always reveal what is going on inside. Let me reiterate that sometimes you can assume based off what you may see or hear, but I do warn that you must be careful and be ready to back up your assumption of things. If you believe what your assuming to be true, you better have proof.

Usually when making an assumptions, it is done after a period of getting to know more about something or someone and /or have seen a pattern related to either that leads you to assume what you think.

If you're right in what you assume, especially about a person, I say it is important to still deal with it appropriately.  Let's said you assume a someone to be a thief, liar, mean, etc and that person is really that way. Well what can you do (if you should be dealing with it) to help that person not be that way? Maybe address it what that person? Ask how you can help that person (if  he or she wants help)? There are probably a number of ways to go about it,  but make sure to not make things complicated. If you're right, don't brag about it. If it is true, well alright, you know what you believe was true and can now proceed with what need to be done or dealt with.


Now let's say what you assumed was wrong! Oh no! Well don't worry to much, unless you started to cause trouble or any issues with your assumption. Then you need to fix it right away. First I would ask for forgiveness if you were wrong, especially if others found out. *You already know that when you assume, you end up telling someone else what you think, which most likely lead to gossip or some kind of misunderstanding* If you assumed something wrong about a person, even if he or she didn't/doesn't know, if it is necessary, admit that you were under the wrong impression. You may have believe what someone else has told you or you simply just didn't care to find out more yourself. Sometimes people don't know they come across a certain way, then we can sometimes assume they are that way and addressing it can help make things less awkward or complicated. We've all assume something (usually bad) about someone and sometimes we assume wrong. Deal with it and move on.

So making assumptions can be a fight starter, cause issues, and get you into trouble sometimes. Assumptions could keep you out of those things as well. Just use wisdom. We're human though, so it is easy to think something is truth based off of little to no prior give info or knowledge. Assumptions can lead you all over the place, so know about what you're assuming. Be careful. You can assume someone is a thief if they steal in front of you. You can't assume someone is Christian just because they go to church. You could assume you might drown if you can't swim. You can't assume that someone is your friend if he or she is disrespecting you.

Make sure first!
Get me? I hope so.

What Needs to be Done...When Dealing with Sin!

*This is not about anyone in particular as I have been in several different conversations with different people in and out-side of my circle who are talking about dealing with those in sin. When someone you know isn't doing right, how do you deal with it, especially if they claim to be a Christian?
This is a "touchy" topic, but I don't want to be afraid to talk about my view about it.
This is what I believe, you may or may not agree.*

It is not easy to correct someone. For some it might be, but the majority have a hard time confronting someone doing wrong/who is sinning. Sometimes there's a fear of that person being angry or less accepting of you. Things could get tensed and/or awkward, the relationship/friendship could be over.
Sometimes one doesn't care that much about what someone else is doing. If it is not affecting his/her self directly, why worry about it.

Whatever the case may be, it is important to do what is right. What is God telling you to do in that particular situation? How do you approach someone who is in sin? Are you trying to help them and encourage repentance?

Depending on what it is, I think one has to set aside their feelings and deal with it. No one should be comfortable standing by while someone else is sinning. There's needs to be accountability. There needs to be genuine concern and care for someone who finds or positions his/her self in a situation that is causing them to be in sin.

This has been a common topic lately. We find our (Christian) friends in situations that pulls them away from the Lord. They are in sin and have isolate themselves. They don't want anyone to talk to them.They don't want correction. They only want God to JUDGE them. They don't want anyone to be involved with their life at this time. Etc. etc....

What are we to do about it?
Well we are called to deal with them in a loving and truthful, but most effective way possible. Some people you have to be gentle with, while others do need to be dealt with boldly and more seriously. All is done with care and keeping in mind that God wants us watch over one another. He wants us to live right and obey His word.

We have to do what needs to be done. Sometimes you may get burned while pulling someone else out of the fire. It won't always be easy trying to help someone you see sinning and you want them to get back on track. You want to encourage that him/her have the right testimony. There does come a point when you leave alone and leave the rest up to God, but until then don't give an excuse. If you're not doing what God is asking you to do, then you're not doing right either.

I used to struggle in this area a lot. It was and sometimes still is hard going up to someone I care about and letting know what they are doing is not pleasing to God and it is affecting their walk with Him. They are in sin and need to turn away. I didn't want that person to be mad at me or not trust me anymore. Then I had to stop worrying about their response and do what is right, even if that means things get shaky. I wanted to do what God commanded, especially if I'm the one that is meant to deal with that person.

I probably could go more into depth, but the point is for Christians to do what we're called to do: confront sin, deal with it, and be accountable. Don't just talk...do. If your prayer for someone leads you to actually talk to him/her, then do it. After that, see what happens. Pray for their repentance. Pray for their walk with the Lord. Pray that they can turn away and how you may be able to help with it. Pray God does a work with the person. DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE! 


Jude verses 22+23                                                                                                                   "And have mercy on those who doubt;  save others by snatching them out of the fire;" 

Galatians 6:1 
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted."

2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

Some Advice...

I don't think I'm an expert. I don't know everything and I may not always give the best advice. Although something I said to a friend (a piece of advice) made my happy to think about how far I've come and what I've learned from my experiences. So this piece of advice I want to share with my readers. I believe it will help some out or at least I pray it does.

Here it goes:

"You don't need what others have or get to experience in their lives to make you happy or define your life. You have your own life (that God has planned out). You'll be doing big things someday. You don't need a man. You don't need a trip. You don't need money or anything else....all you need is God. He is the best that you can get out of life. He'll make you happy, content, feel loved, and prosperous.

It's ok to want, to dream, to aspire, to reach for...but don't let it take your focus off God. Don't worry about what others are doing with their lives and compare theirs to yours. Keep moving forward and being content with your life until God shows you what to do and where to go next."