Letting People Go (My Personal Perspective))

I've struggle when someone decides he/she doesn't want me to be part of their life anymore (or he/she removes his/herself from mine). 

I'm definitely not a perfect person. I have my flaws and have made mistakes. I have and will accept if and when I'm in the wrong. 

I have a hard time letting people go! However, God revealed to me that whether or not I understand why someone isn't in my life anymore, I need to let go. I can't control others decisions. I won't always know why. I just have to trust that their new direction or next chapter may not include me. I may just be a "seasonal" friend" in their life. Maybe that person has a situation going on God doesn't want me to be a part of. Whatever, the reason when people are no longer in my life I need to let go and let God...and be ok with it.

The reasons could go on and I have learned to accept when change happens. I have learned people will do they what they want to do, with or without you. 

I hold people close. I do my best to make the most of the friendships and relationships in my life. Again, nothing is ever perfect, but the effort and care is very much applied. So whatever happens, it can be said that at least good happened and I or we did try our best to make the most of our time together. Some I've even called my family and when they're no longer in my life, I'm sometimes conflicted and sadden. *Unless, I have seen or understand why their time in my life has come to an "end".

I will admit, I've cut people off or made it clear they need to move on and away from me. Usually, because there was a negative impact made and I don't need that drama or negativity in my life. However, to understand my point from this writing, I don't understand letting go someone that loves, cares, and gives so much and then just decide that you don't need that person anymore. I tend to think, "What did I do wrong or what's wrong with me?" I really would have a hard time understanding someone choosing to not be around anymore. All communication would just get cut off, moreso from their side. 

Sometimes people choose to remove themselves because they grow tired or long for something different. Sometimes it could be a maturity thing and maybe their growth/journey doesn't include certain people. I have even figured out that someone could be hiding something and/or doesn't want to be held accountable. People want to do what they do and not have others get in their way. So, they push away. These and other reasons are just few of many people cut you off. 

*Everyone can't be your friend. Every person is not your friend. However, who ever it is and for whatever reason they're in your life, you still been to be who God called you to be. Your presence in their life could be brief or a life time. I will love, care, and pray for me whoever is in my life despite not knowing how long they're in it. I'm that friend. I'm that person who is going to give it my best and all when necessary because I treat others how I want to be treats. So, if the time comes when we don't see each other anymore and one of us moves on, then it can be said that it was nice while it lasted.

This could be continued as I know much discussion can come from this topic.

Cutting Them Off

 Idk.  Lots of people are talking about cutting off folks and moving on. I get that when you're around toxic people. I get it when there are individuals or groups that are not good for you. Everyone isn't your friend. Someone or many could be using or abusing you.   However, pulling yourself away so you don't have to be held accountable or "have people in your business" isn't a reason to cut people off.  Some people pull away because of someone else. Some cut off because they rather be alone and do their own thing.   There are just so many posts about changing it up and being by yourself. However, then we have people struggling mentally and feeling alone. *Please note, I know there are other reasons for that as well.   What happen to keeping a solid group of friends in your life? What's going on that so many have to cut ties and move on from people after so many years?   Just seems like there is so much hurt or misunderstanding. Also, seems like some people don't want to have real friends, just those who are for entertainment and puff them up. They don't want to have accountability, but want accolades and approval whether right or wrong. If you got poeple who only know so much about you, then limited access or knowledge means you can do whatever, whenever without muchsay so.   This is just one perspective. This isn't towards anyone specific and again, I do get that what I'm talking about is circumstantial. It doesn't necessarily apply to those choosing to make this year about starting fresh being around new people. Sometimes, you have to let go of people. Sometimes, you're meant to move on and forward. I've done it, so I do know. It's hard and sometimes it hurts or it's freeing and you're ok about it.   However, if you're blessed with good people in your life  and hopefully ones that care about you, don't let anyone or anything pull you away from them. If something is an issue, work to resolve it and reconcile. It's possible. God knows who's needed in your life and vice verse. Do think carefully about your support system and those that should be a part of it.

Breaking Down Walls

 Thoughts from an empath....

Sometimes...when trying to knock down others walls there's hesitation, pain/hurt, and complications on both sides. It's not always easy and it's not always possible.

I'm referring to people who build up walls that need to be broken so reaching out or getting through to can be possible. Sometimes, walls are built out of fear and despair and that person is trying to protect his or herself, when really it is preventing from healing, restoration, and love. 

Walls are hard and are put up as such so no one can get throughor over! They don't come down easily and take time to break down. So, patience is needed on both sides. Sometimes, the one trying to get through gets tired and may need a break. Still caring...still trying. 

Personally, I'm just tired in some cases. Not tired of trying to get through or be a friend. I'm tired because it is hard and feeling like, "what more can I do?" How much longer will it take? Am I not trying hard enough? Do I just leave this person be? Maybe, I'm not the one supposed to break their wall(s) down? Do I care too much? 

I guess it'll be hard either way...to keep trying or to leave it alone. 

I'm still a good friend. I don't give up easily on people, but I'm learning when to step aside and let things be. I'm accepting that sometimes people decide to hide from or block you. I'm alright with knowing I did what I could, that it was my best. 

Please note, I'm not talking about anyone specific. I got into a conversation about relationships and friendships and just sharing some of my thoughts from it. Yea, it is personal, relatable, and I can think of few in my life I've been connected with where this has happened. However, it doesn't matter because whether is has been someone past, present, or maybe in the future I know that breaking down someone's walls if meant to do so, isn't something that will not happen overnight. The tools needed have to be good, strong ones. God will have to provide the strength and patience on for the breaker, as the builder of that wall slowly stops and hopefully will finally let it fall. 

The Last 6 Weeks

As I try to go to sleep, I think about how for the last 6 weeks I've been going to the chemo center with my mom in-law. Her treatment is suppose to be 12 weeks so we're over half way through it.

It's definitely a reality check! She's doing as best as we all can hope, but others I see there have been coming for a long time or have a long way to go with their treatments.

I overhear their struggles or walk by and see some who have no one at their side. Yea their families and friends could be busy, but I couldn't imagine going thru that by myself. Some look so weak and/tired. Others are a little more uplifted, but you can still see their pain. It's a battle and journey for them to be cancer free. They are fighters nonetheless.

Being there with my mom-in-law, I believe helps keep her spirit up and have someone to confide in. We talk and reminisce almost the whole time.

Why am I writing this...well it's to remind you that life is precious, unpredictable, and definitely tomorrow is not promised. Also remember those who get up fighting for their lives everyday.

We complain and vent about meaningless matters, when another just wants to feel better physically and beat the odds. We have to remind ourselves that others are struggling like we are...even much "worse".

Last, I got strong moms in my life. My mom had a stroke and she could be speechless and physically inept. However she pulled through and can't stop talking and moving around, lol, but I rather hear her than to wonder what she would say.

My mom-in-law is a trooper. This isn't easy for her, but she keeps going. I told her she will be stronger than ever after it's over. Her chances are great and she'll be alright.

That's enough from me. Keep my family in your prayers. Remember to pray for the sick. Encourage them as well.

An Artistic Perspective

No one had to believe in me, but certain ones did. I did have people question, but no one ever told me to quit or give up.

Being an artist is not an easy thing especially if you pursue a career in being one.

People can be very critical and doubting. Other artists can be very competitive or unnecessarily comparative.

So really it's all about my own passion and perspective that keeps my going in what I love to do. This isn't just a hobby and it is not just my work...my creativity, my artistic gifts, my aesthetic as an artist is who I am.

While I do expect and accept critique, I know everyone will not be pleased and/or see what I see. That's fine. I take in what will allow me to better my work.

I enjoy what I do. Can't see myself doing anything that isn't related to art. I love it so much. Since I could write with a pencil and color with a crayon, I have always been interested art: drawing, painting, crafts, digital art, different aspects of designing, etc.

I can't wait to learn more so I can do more. I have my days when I'm not totally confident, but I got my support esp from my family who tell me to get it together and keep moving forward.

My parents didn't know what to expect as first, but they have always been encouraging and supplied me with plenty of art materials to keep me busy and productive. Now they see it has paid off. Then my husband fully has my back and now I have an overflowing art space that still keeps me busy. Thanks all the art supplies he gets me. ;)

I'll end with this...do what you love. Take whatever critique is necessary, but don't let it get you down.  Be motivated to do your best and do what works for you. If something doesn't work out as planned, either go back to the drawing board and try again...or try something else. Nothing wrong with trying something new. Be passionate about your work and seek to have it benefit others. Trust God with the gifts and talents He's given you. You'll find satisfaction in knowing you're doing what is meant for you to do.

To My Business Owners/Bosses Out There

Obviously I'm still working hard to get out there myself, but let me share this with you and feel free to share back. (In relation to business and growing one)

You won't  "Blow Up", "Get Big", or have major support in one day! It takes time, along with diligence.

You have to get up each day, doing more than the day before to get where you want to be...to get what you want to have.

Sometimes that means you have to get out of your comfort zone-Talk to new people, going out to new places, and exploring different avenues in relation to your business. Make connections! Brand yourself correctly.

This is mostly common knowledge and just the general things to consider.

I just want to encourage real, hard-working, driven, and passionate business owners/entrepreneurs to not be scared to try. If you pursue something you're good at, have sufficient knowledge of, and feel good about it, then see if you can make it work...make it happen. Also know it is ok if you fail or don't get as far the first time around...maybe you're meant to do something else.

Just don't try to copy something or someone else you really have no interest in. Too many want to mimic and get into something just for the benefits...then fall flat because the motive was wrong.
There doesn't need to be several of the same businesses and no one really stands out because there isn't any authenticity ...nothing genuine.

Each business and its brand has a personal story behind. If you don't have one, then it is probably not for you to do. Why do tjis specific business? What will make you stand out? What will cause people to pay attention and support you?

Being in business is NOT for everyone. There's nothing wrong with having a boss. We need bosses and workers. You may not possess the qualities of a "boss" and shouldn't force yourself into the position  of being one. However if you see yourself being a boss (to others or just for yourself), be ready to work 3 times as hard, longer hours, and learn more than what you think you already know.

That's all for now...

Untitled...

After a conversation with my friends, some of it about us growing up and what we did and how we were...I have come to really appreciate how I am...how I turned out.

This isn't me bragging or implying I'm better than anyone else. I never got into much trouble, ran in the streets, or hung out around negative influences. There's things I didn't do that would be considered bad or make my parents worry about me.

However I have made many poor decisions, trusted people I shouldn't have, and was naive in many ways. Being known as good, sweet, and sensitive, didn't mean I am without my flaws and faults. As we were all talking, I just kept thinking how I could have done some things differently. I can't compared to what others have done, but I've sinned and did things that disappointed God and others in my life.

I have struggled with things internally and that would affect how I have treated people and acted outwardly. My actions and behavior have not always been right and I had to suffered consequences and learn from my mistakes.

I thank for God keeping me and showing me areas of my life that I had to work on and still need to work on.

Just thinking back at what I have done and where I am now, I'm in a good place. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm growing, learning, and getting better. I'm becoming more of who God wants me to be. He's forgiven me and continues to have mercy on me. I'm thankful for what I have and all God has done in my life.

Late Night Thinking...Venting...Rambling...

Up late...and It's been awhile since I've blogged.

Idk why I don't write more. I have plenty to talk about...for real!

Tonight though, just got some things that are weighing HEAVY on my heart, got my mind all over the place. So I'm blogging to get myself together. Please bear with me.

I wish I could express it all, vent and get it all out!

Although first it wouldn't be wise to do publicly online (you know, sharing all or too many details), and second I have to be wise in general about how I deal with my emotions. I believe in having self control, because I could go crazy, but then again I could just give it over to God.

I can let Him know (even though He already does know) what's up and how I'm feeling about it. I mean, sometimes I do cry to Him. Sometimes I feeling a little upset (not at Him) and I'm just so tensed about certain situations (whether I'm affected directly or indirectly). Ones where I am completely aware of that I have no control over, foolishness is rampant, and/or nothing seems to makes sense. So then I'm just to the point where I am done, just can't deal, and asking God....Why? 

I'm asking why this or that....why did I or why did they/him/her do such a thing....why can't this get better....get resolved....just be over?

There have been times where I felt "numb". What do I mean? Numb, as in just no exact feeling or reaction to a situation because I'm so far to the point of not even understanding how to feel about whatever is going on. I could have been happy, sad, upset, confused, or whatever at first, but eventually I go into a state of...blank. I can't interpret how I should feel when so much is going on...almost like I get too overwhelmed with emotions and then I guess check out.

Idk, hope that made sense.

Well now as I stated above, I feel burden and want to vent (a mixture of sorrow and anger), but...

then again I feel like I'm entering a state of peace.

All of a sudden, but Sweet Spirit you just said...

Hold on my readers! Remember I'm doing this blog to help me out.

Let me clarify...yes my heart is burden,  but God is bestowing peace on me as I start to let go and let Him handle it. It's a process.

As I write (or type), I'm checking my emotions and discerning through what to say.

At this point you're probably like, "So, what's bothering you?".

Well mainly satan and things he's been up to with my family and friends. Not that I don't have my struggles, but nothing compares right now to what's going on with them. Their health, jobs, marriages, etc....are being under attack by satan.

He's been busy if you haven't noticed!!!

My loved ones are in a state of emergency. They got all kinds of foolishness and sinful matters going on. Others are sick with illnesses and ailments, just waiting to be healed. Some are lost, defeated, and/or confused about where they at in life. It's CRAZY!

Why am I burden? I can't do anything about it. It's like I have to site here and watch it all go down. I can't make it go away. I can't stop satan. I can't stop sin. I can't...

But God can! So now I have to pray and let Him work it out! I need to stop worrying myself and not feel hopeless, because God got it.

He has the sick, the lost, the hurt, and the confused. He has each one taken care of in a way that I can't, but certainly He can fix it all.

So as I end my rambling, let me just conclude by saying...

You were not meant to solve the problems of this world. You can't always intervene or get involved. You won't have enough of your on strength of power to change or deal with certain things. It all has to be left up to God. Only He can make a way and work it out. At the end of the day, any of us can do is pray and let Him work. Now if He decides to you (or me) to be apart of His plan to restore, rebuild, or reconcile, then listen and obey. Also trust that what God does is for His glory, but theirs or our benefit. 

I share in each of their burdens, but I can't carry it for them. I have to believe God is going to lift it and make everything as it should be.

Year after year....

This time of year will always remind me of how far I've come and how I was able to overcome some really deep stuff.

With all the killing going on, I just have to praise God for keeping me. The world is becoming more dangerous.

Having your life threaten is a scary and tramatic experience. 

Even tho its been almost 3 years, I think deep down I still feel what I dealt with then. I try not to think about it, but...

I still wonder what happened to those two young men who robbed me. Did they do it to someone else? Did they ever get caught? Did I do what I was suppose to do? Why am I still affected by it sometimes?

I feel like it's never been fully resolved.

I think others can relate. Although others I know who've been through the same thing don't talk about their related experiences much. So I guess maybe it is still fresh to me? Maybe I haven't completely got over it yet?

Idk, still happy to be here and alive. God protected me and all I can do is thank Him. I saw two guns point at me and what else was there to do but trust God.

I just pray that those two boys didn't continue on with their actions.

I'm hoping to use that part of my life as a testimony and not be known as a victim, but a victor.

Feeling Stuck?

Been feeling like you're not going anywhere?
Not sure of your future?
Nothing going right or according to plan?
Are you lost...confused...and expect a bad outcome?

Well...who isn't? Didn't expect that response did ya?

Don't worry I mean well...

but think about it. You are not the only one who has a time in their life when trials and tests and negative circumstances will cause you to feel stuck. Stuck isn't always a bad state to be in...you just can't stay stuck because that when negativity creeps in and have you thinking all kinds of mess.

When your plans to do this or that doesn't go that way, you stay in place because you can't see or you don't know what to do...or where to go next. It throws you/us off...

I believe it happens to most of us, but then what happens? What are we to do?

For myself, I go to God and ask for clarity and direction. There has been many times in my life I feel like I'm on the go, things are going well, and I'm moving forward. Then something cause me to either takes many steps back or just stops me in my tracks...and I become at a lost of what to do. I get "stuck" and I'm guilty of sometimes choosing to stay stuck and miss out on a lot of things that I could have taken advantage of to help me get out it. I make excuses, instead of actually doing something about it.

When I get ready to feel "un-stuck", I get quiet and reflect on everything up to that point. I think what might have gone wrong, what I did or didn't do, and how can I get going any again. I soon come to realize that God allowed something to "stop" me where I am and He'll be the one to get me going anything in the direction I'm suppose to in. From the start I should have gone to Him and begin the process to be set free!

It doesn't always have to be something negative to cause me or you to feel stuck (we just make it seem or take it that way). Sometimes God just wants you to do something else. Since He is in control and He has a plan, we sometimes need to get reposition or turn to go another way.
God wants to place us in a new place, give us a new tasks, or maybe embark you on a new journey.

We get stuck especially when it is not what we want to do. We don't want to leave someplace, we don't want to go there, and we don't want to do something new. So we just get stuck...rather stay in place than to go on and embrace what's ahead. Sometimes it could be because of fear (of the unknown), worry, or just plain on stubbornness.

You and I have to get out of feeling stuck because it just keeps us there and that doesn't help us move along like God intended. If you trust Him, then take the next step. Go ahead and know what is ahead is meant for your own good, even if you do encounter obstacles along the way. Those are there to help you become stronger and build your character, but ultimately bring you closer to where you NEED to be and to God.

If you feel stuck because you're discontent or unsatisfied about your current state, I say you still need to be faithful and committed to completing the task(s) at hand until God says otherwise. Don't try to move along with out Him. Don't just quit either.

So next time you feel "stuck", sit down, pray, and listen. You'll either have to wait for an answer to where to go or what to do next or get going right away and wait on the rest of the instructions to be revealed to you. Still do what you have been called to do, unless God says to stop then, but don't just give up or drop everything unless that is apart of the plan.

You don't have to keep feeling stuck...you can be set free!

In the Morning

Every now and then I post on fb or my blog about being real and true when it comes to being a Christian...no matter where you are, no matter what! So here I go again...

When I check my fb in the morning, I see a lot of morning "Christians". What do I mean? They post verses, praises about being awake, thankful for what they have, but a couple hours later...

complaining, cussing, trashing, anger, negativity, etc!

Seriously, not saying you can't have a difficult day, but your character of being in Christ shouldn't be compromised or change based on your situations. Remain right in Him, otherwise that's how other perceive Christians as hypocrites.

It's a shame how much comes from the mouth giving glory to God, but the actions and attitude to follow is totally different. It's like Christ left the building. He matters in the morning, but after 12pm, you're free to do whatever.

No one's perfect, but still. Just so much here and there I'm saved, but all the other times doesn't matter.

I'm going to check myself first, because if what I call myself isn't reflect everywhere I go and in everything I do including on social media, then that's a problem. I don't want to appear fake or wayward.

Let's all check ourselves, especially on social media, because we're being watched everywhere. What you post and say reflects a lot about your character and so if you're going to post about God (or you being a Christian), then really be about God (or being a Christian).

If we don't , then what kind of examples are we being to those who are seeking the Lord or who are lost and looking for us to help them find their way.

JS.....

Encourage Yourself!

I've been told numerous times "encourage yourself". I really didn't like when people told me that...it felt unnecessary. I felt encouragement should come from my family and friends...other people! I thought it was weird to bring yourself up, when you're feeling down. Now this is when I was younger, so I was a bit more naive. I had a hard time comprehending the idea of "encouraging yourself".

What I came to realize is that I was being selfish and having a pity party. I wanted attention and people to do for me what I had the ability to do myself. God always has equipped me with what I needed to be better spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Back then I just had stop focusing on myself and the negative. I was acting hopeless. It was wrong of me. So I prayed and worked on not relying so much on others to bring me up. I read the Word more, listened to encouraging songs, and/or pour myself more into my gifts/talents to cope with whatever situation that was affecting me.
Over time, I was able to get out of being so discourage faster and even when I still went to my fam and friends, it was easier to deal with things.

*I'm not saying don't go to your family and friends for encouragement, but sometimes people don't want to even try to help themselves at all. They become stuck and bitter and never learn to get "out of a funk" on their own. Sometimes it is just God and you making it through!

God doesn't want you/us to make excuses. There's His Word, His Son, the Holy Spirit, and plenty other things that can help "encourage yourself". It can seem hard as satan would have us think, which does make that battle of discouraging or depressions difficult to fight against.

Like in an earlier blog I wrote...it's all about perspective. We have to change the way we view our circumstances. We have to choose not to be controlled by our emotions and not get stuck in a comfort zone of hurt, pain, sorrow, and discouragement. You don't have to stay discourage if you are. You can be happy, content, collected, and optimistic. For you to remain down and in a state of worry and stress is wrong...it's not healthy.

God is calling you to be strong and trust in Him for what you need. Whatever has you down, remember that through Him, you can be lifted back up. Show the world there is hope in your life. Show those around you that when times get tough, don't go as planned, and get out of control, that you're able to...

ENCOURAGE YOURSELF!

You're Not Missing Out...

I used to think I was missing out when people around me were doing things I didn't or wasn't allowed to do. I used to feel left out, thinking something was "wrong" with me if I wasn't involved with a certain activity or didn't have the same experiences as my friends (or peers). 

There were a lot of things I didn't get to do or have, but that's alright. I look back now and feel humble and content with the way life has gone for me. Yea not everything was "good" and there were times that I care not to reminiscence about, although I can still thank God that it was His plan, His  way, His will for me. I didn't always go to God for big decisions or ask for direction, which lead me to learn things the hard way or go through that time in my life with much more difficulty. When I just let God have His way and take control, I started to feel better about who I was and where I was in life.

I wasn't missing out. Whatever was going on that I thought I should be apart of, God kept me away for a reason. It didn't all have to be wrong, but God knew better than I did and so it wasn't meant for me.

I didn't date as a teen, but most of friends did. I thought things like "No guy wants to date me", "I'm not pretty enough", "I should lower my standards and just go for it", etc... I wasn't out going girl, so most guys that I talked to and liked just kept me in the friend zone. I was the "good/church girl", but since I didn't party and wasn't willing to go to certain places or do certain things, my prospects were low. By the time I got to college, I had already "given up" and thought I'll date when I'm older and out of college, working in my career field. I prayed and ask God to give me patience. I truly wanted to wait on Him and stop worrying so much about when I'll meet "the one". Little did I know, a young man had been paying attention to me for quite some time and finally started talking to me. Eventually we got closer, started dating, and then got happily married. I really think that if I didn't allow God to work with me and give me patience, I'd be with someone I wasn't happy with or worse.

That's just an example of what I felt I missed out on (dating at that age at that time), when it was not the right time for me. Now that situation may seem a little silly, but there have been other circumstances when I felt like "I'm missing out". Mostly that feeling was related to the timing of things in my life i.e. graduating college (sooner than later), working in my career field, owning a home, making certain accomplishments, etc. Honestly it could be almost anything, but after some reflection and prayer, that feeling goes away.

So if you feel like you're "missing out"...you're probably not. What is God's plan for your life? What are you truly meant to do or be apart of? If all your friends are dating, doesn't mean you have to be. A friend has bought a house, doesn't mean you have to buy one too. You want to live on your own (or with your buddies), well maybe that won't happen. Owning a business, getting married, having children, traveling the world, etc...whatever it is...
You won't always do and/or get to be apart of what seems great or popular like those around you. You're not missing out.

Trust God. He knows what is best for you. You don't need to have the same life as someone else to have a good, exciting life. Whatever happens to and for you is how your life will go because God meant it that way. Don't rush. Don't do anything without keeping God first. Don't allow what you feel cause you miss out on what God may have for you...or in short don't miss out on your blessings because you're after things that don't really matter or meant for you at this time.

Ecclesiastes 8:6 
"For there is a time and a way for everything"

Galatians 6:9

^"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Psalm 37:3-4
"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
 

Happy New Year and Happiness Ahead

Welcome to 2015!

First I'm going to praise God for blessing me to see this year. I'm looking forward to just continuing on with the things I have already made commitments to do and grow/mature as a young Christian woman. There are new things I want to do, but I don't want to start now just because it's New Year. I rather what until I know it's the right time so I don't quit or begin what I can't finish because I should have waited anyway.

So I'm very active on Facebook and I see plenty of people who talk about their new commitments and goals for the year. Honestly sometimes I wonder what is motivating people to choose what they want to do this year. I think it is really easy to set a goal and say what you want to do, but why? Everyone wants to "get fit", but why? Some people want to start a business, but why? Why this year and not before?

I ask myself "why", so this isn't just pointing the finger. I don't like doing things without purpose. I like to figure out if what I want to do will please God, benefits others, and mean something to me.
I don't expect everyone do think that same way, but I do hope that resolutions, commitments, and goals made are done with thoughtfulness and good reason.

Honestly the main thing I look forward to this year is more happiness. There's so much negativity and disorder going on, I just want to see people find happiness in some way. I know that's not easy when so much is going on personally, socially, and in the world. It's like "how can I/you be happy, when there's violence, chaos, death, persecution, etc happening?" and I understand that doesn't make anyone feel "happy". Although I like to still find that "silver lining" in all that goes on, because I like to be good and happy when it's the right time to be so.

 I find happiness in the Lord, because He is the one in control, can change things, and gives the real feeling of happiness....more like joy I should say. So this year, whatever comes my way, I will look to the Lord for peace, contentment, and happiness. I don't want to stay stuck in the negative.


Well that's all I have for now. I'll be back sooner than later with more to share.

CAN WE STAY FRIENDS?

I've experienced and seen the power of reconciliation. Although not so much anymore...

Reconciliation requires humility, forgiveness,  and the right attitude (motive, heart, etc, so a relationship or friendship can be on the mend.

So it is sad when you can see people, especially those who claim to be Christian can't get along and get it together after something negative happens between them.

It has to suck losing people you've grown close to, leave out of my life due to bitterness, lack of understanding, and/or not willing to forgive. 

*I will say that if that person says they are done and through with you...then let them go. Don't chase after people.*

If forgiveness is requested and that person is willing to work on making things right and repent, then do as God would do and forgive them. What happened or what was done may not be forgotten, but being unified is what we all should be striving for!

I would only cut off a person if he or she just wasn't willing to work it out. There has to be a change in behavior and true willingness to do what is right/make things right again. Same goes for me if I hurt or offend a friend and didn't try to change. I would expect them not to want to be my friend anymore. 

Although being the person I am, I'm loyal and willing do whatever it took to keep my friends. Unless God show me otherwise,  but I let Him remove people from my life. He knows who's meant for a lifetime or season. He knows each person's purpose in my life, so if their purpose is to teach me in whatever way (positive or negative experience) so in the end I learn and grow, then so be it.

All I'm trying to say that if a relationship/friendship can be worked on and fixed, do it. Don't throw in the towel just because you're mad. Don't give up on it too soon. Ask for discernment and  meeting how God wants you to go about it.

Reconciliation is good. Don't let satan tear things apart. Don't allow anger, bitterness, or stubbornness hinder you're attempt to make things right again. If you love that person, your friend, your spouse, or whoever...then pray and move forward.

My Best and Better Me

I'm in this place where I want to be better than I am now in a few areas of my life.

I have been a self taught person most of my life. I learned how to play my instruments on my own, draw, design, sew, roller blade, etc before receiving further help to improve at those things.

Now there are some things I can't just start myself. I don't stop trying, but  seeking the help I need is sometimes difficult. Although I will do what is necessary to become better at the things I love to do.

Really I wish that I could find more people willing to teach and share what they know that have the same or similar skills as myself. In particular in my field of deisgn. Some designers are so secretive or competitive as if no one can know what they know. They don't want to help another reach their potential. I noticed that a lot in the artist/design community.

Yes some people want to copy and steal ideas, but I'm truly looking to learn and improve. I want and need to be a better designer. I'll admit what I'm good at, but also my weak areas. I'm pretty good with designing flyers, but my logo skills could use some more improvement. The more I do design, the better I get at them, but I feel like I still can reach another level with logo creation.

I thank God for my job and my boss that helps me learn more and improve, but I need more outside training. School helps as well, but not as practically in some ways. 

Other than that I can't afford at this time to take additional classes/courses. Plus it would be cool to do a one on one mentor like session with an experienced graphic designer, so I can have someone to go to when I need more guidance. I'm a very visual and hands on learner.

So I won't stop what I love to do. I will continue to look for different resources to help me out. Being an artist/graphic designer is what I am. Nothing else to really fall back on. I love it. I always try and give it my best.

Anyone who receives or has received work from me, gets/got 100% of my hard work and passion. When I visualize what I need to design, I put all that I can into with what I can have (program/resources). While I don't consider myself the very best, I think whoever chooses me gets great work from me. I work well with my clients and make sure they get what they've pictured. 

I really appreciate my clients and grateful that they trust me as their go to designer. Plus they refer me, which is aslo greatly appreciated. 

I receive great support from many people and that definitely keeps my confidence up.

Well I guess I'm done. I could go on, but just know that I'm all about bettering myself. If I want to move forward and become more successful then I have to take a step back and evaluate where I need to improve. I don't like being in the same place too long. I have to learn and know more so I can apply it to my work and hobbies.

Making Assumptions

A friend gave me the suggestion to talk about making assumptions. 

Webster dictionary defines assumed as: "to think that something is true or probably true without knowing that it is true"


I will be upfront and honest to say that I have made assumptions. I've learned the hard way to be more careful about what I thought I believe to be true without finding out if it was or not.

Although, it is wrong to assume? What happens if I'm right...or wrong with my assumptions?

Personally I think assumptions are usually based on how someone is FEELING about something or someone without actually thinking it through, which can sometimes lead to issues. This may not be the case all the time, but for some it is.


I used to make assumptions based of what I may have heard or thought without prior knowledge about a person or situation. Can you assume someone is a certain way by how they look/act? Sometimes and you might be right about him or her. Although other times it can be taken too far because without gaining more information or facts, your leading yourself to believe something to be truth without validation.

Now I do my best to not assume something and run with it. I believe it is best to ask questions about what you're assuming, so you don't cause an misunderstanding. Everything seen on the outside doesn't always reveal what is going on inside. Let me reiterate that sometimes you can assume based off what you may see or hear, but I do warn that you must be careful and be ready to back up your assumption of things. If you believe what your assuming to be true, you better have proof.

Usually when making an assumptions, it is done after a period of getting to know more about something or someone and /or have seen a pattern related to either that leads you to assume what you think.

If you're right in what you assume, especially about a person, I say it is important to still deal with it appropriately.  Let's said you assume a someone to be a thief, liar, mean, etc and that person is really that way. Well what can you do (if you should be dealing with it) to help that person not be that way? Maybe address it what that person? Ask how you can help that person (if  he or she wants help)? There are probably a number of ways to go about it,  but make sure to not make things complicated. If you're right, don't brag about it. If it is true, well alright, you know what you believe was true and can now proceed with what need to be done or dealt with.


Now let's say what you assumed was wrong! Oh no! Well don't worry to much, unless you started to cause trouble or any issues with your assumption. Then you need to fix it right away. First I would ask for forgiveness if you were wrong, especially if others found out. *You already know that when you assume, you end up telling someone else what you think, which most likely lead to gossip or some kind of misunderstanding* If you assumed something wrong about a person, even if he or she didn't/doesn't know, if it is necessary, admit that you were under the wrong impression. You may have believe what someone else has told you or you simply just didn't care to find out more yourself. Sometimes people don't know they come across a certain way, then we can sometimes assume they are that way and addressing it can help make things less awkward or complicated. We've all assume something (usually bad) about someone and sometimes we assume wrong. Deal with it and move on.

So making assumptions can be a fight starter, cause issues, and get you into trouble sometimes. Assumptions could keep you out of those things as well. Just use wisdom. We're human though, so it is easy to think something is truth based off of little to no prior give info or knowledge. Assumptions can lead you all over the place, so know about what you're assuming. Be careful. You can assume someone is a thief if they steal in front of you. You can't assume someone is Christian just because they go to church. You could assume you might drown if you can't swim. You can't assume that someone is your friend if he or she is disrespecting you.

Make sure first!
Get me? I hope so.

What Needs to be Done...When Dealing with Sin!

*This is not about anyone in particular as I have been in several different conversations with different people in and out-side of my circle who are talking about dealing with those in sin. When someone you know isn't doing right, how do you deal with it, especially if they claim to be a Christian?
This is a "touchy" topic, but I don't want to be afraid to talk about my view about it.
This is what I believe, you may or may not agree.*

It is not easy to correct someone. For some it might be, but the majority have a hard time confronting someone doing wrong/who is sinning. Sometimes there's a fear of that person being angry or less accepting of you. Things could get tensed and/or awkward, the relationship/friendship could be over.
Sometimes one doesn't care that much about what someone else is doing. If it is not affecting his/her self directly, why worry about it.

Whatever the case may be, it is important to do what is right. What is God telling you to do in that particular situation? How do you approach someone who is in sin? Are you trying to help them and encourage repentance?

Depending on what it is, I think one has to set aside their feelings and deal with it. No one should be comfortable standing by while someone else is sinning. There's needs to be accountability. There needs to be genuine concern and care for someone who finds or positions his/her self in a situation that is causing them to be in sin.

This has been a common topic lately. We find our (Christian) friends in situations that pulls them away from the Lord. They are in sin and have isolate themselves. They don't want anyone to talk to them.They don't want correction. They only want God to JUDGE them. They don't want anyone to be involved with their life at this time. Etc. etc....

What are we to do about it?
Well we are called to deal with them in a loving and truthful, but most effective way possible. Some people you have to be gentle with, while others do need to be dealt with boldly and more seriously. All is done with care and keeping in mind that God wants us watch over one another. He wants us to live right and obey His word.

We have to do what needs to be done. Sometimes you may get burned while pulling someone else out of the fire. It won't always be easy trying to help someone you see sinning and you want them to get back on track. You want to encourage that him/her have the right testimony. There does come a point when you leave alone and leave the rest up to God, but until then don't give an excuse. If you're not doing what God is asking you to do, then you're not doing right either.

I used to struggle in this area a lot. It was and sometimes still is hard going up to someone I care about and letting know what they are doing is not pleasing to God and it is affecting their walk with Him. They are in sin and need to turn away. I didn't want that person to be mad at me or not trust me anymore. Then I had to stop worrying about their response and do what is right, even if that means things get shaky. I wanted to do what God commanded, especially if I'm the one that is meant to deal with that person.

I probably could go more into depth, but the point is for Christians to do what we're called to do: confront sin, deal with it, and be accountable. Don't just talk...do. If your prayer for someone leads you to actually talk to him/her, then do it. After that, see what happens. Pray for their repentance. Pray for their walk with the Lord. Pray that they can turn away and how you may be able to help with it. Pray God does a work with the person. DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE! 


Jude verses 22+23                                                                                                                   "And have mercy on those who doubt;  save others by snatching them out of the fire;" 

Galatians 6:1 
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted."

2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

Some Advice...

I don't think I'm an expert. I don't know everything and I may not always give the best advice. Although something I said to a friend (a piece of advice) made my happy to think about how far I've come and what I've learned from my experiences. So this piece of advice I want to share with my readers. I believe it will help some out or at least I pray it does.

Here it goes:

"You don't need what others have or get to experience in their lives to make you happy or define your life. You have your own life (that God has planned out). You'll be doing big things someday. You don't need a man. You don't need a trip. You don't need money or anything else....all you need is God. He is the best that you can get out of life. He'll make you happy, content, feel loved, and prosperous.

It's ok to want, to dream, to aspire, to reach for...but don't let it take your focus off God. Don't worry about what others are doing with their lives and compare theirs to yours. Keep moving forward and being content with your life until God shows you what to do and where to go next."

My Bible Lesson-The 5 Ps of Life: Place, Purpose, Provision, Perspective, and Presence

Place: Where God wants you to be? Examples in the Bible: Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Esther, David, etc

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Proverbs 16:9
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

Where ever you are in life right now (your location, your job, your title, etc), that is God wants you to be. Grow where He has you at this time until He changes things!
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Purpose: What God wants you to do; His will for your life-specific tasks or responsibility?
Examples: The Judges, Mary, etc

Psalm 57:2
“I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.”

Proverbs 16:4
"The Lord has made everything for its purpose"

Ephesians 1:11
"In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of His will"

God wants you to do His will with the gifts/tasks/responsibilities He has given you to fulfill your purpose! Doesn't matter what you are...student, worker, a mom, a wife, a leader, etc...figure out what God is calling you to do!
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Provision: God fulfills your needs; even ones you didn’t know that needed to be met!
Examples: Moses, Daniel, The Apostles, etc

Philippians 4:19
"My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

2 Peter 1:3
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence

Matthew 6:11
“Give us this day our daily bread,”

Before time, now, and later God has you covered!
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Perspective: The vision you are to have about God and your life; how you view the Word and the world around you
Examples: Adam/Eve, Jesus, etc

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
“as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Isaiah 55:8
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.”

Make sure your perspective is the right one! Whatever happens it helps to think that God is doing things for your good!
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Presence (of God): You’ll be able to feel presence of God the closer you are to Him.

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God is always there! He isn't going to abandon His own!
If you don't feel God's presence or don't feel as close to Him, consider what is going on with your relationship with Him? Are you in sin? Maybe you're not reading your Bible or being in prayer enough? Figure it out, so you can be closer to Him!